SHAY: You're a transporter?
ARRIEL: Yesirree.
SHAY: What does that mean?
ARRIEL: I transport things.
SHAY: What kinds of things?
ARRIEL: All kinds.
SHAY: Physical things? Non-physical things?
ARRIEL: Both.
SHAY: Can't God do this Himself?
ARRIEL: Don't bother me with that question. You already understand the answer to that one.
SHAY: I know that I do, but the folks reading this interview might not.
ARRIEL: Well I guess they'll have to find out for themselves.
SHAY: I guess so. So why be a transporter? Did you get to choose? Was there a choice?
ARRIEL: It’s one of the beginning jobs.
SHAY: You mean you're kind of low on the totem pole?
ARRIEL: That's one way of saying it.
SHAY: I guess being an angel has a hierarchy like anything else, huh?
ARRIEL: I guess so. Look, don't you have some more important questions for me?
SHAY: Sure. So where do you transport things to?
ARRIEL: All places.
SHAY: Heaven? Hell? Everywhere in between?
ARRIEL: You got it.
SHAY: So what's it like to go to hell?
ARRIEL: Not too fun.
SHAY: So God's angels do indeed go to hell?
ARRIEL: Regularly.
SHAY: Why?
ARRIEL: Normal reasons.
SHAY: Please elaborate on that.
ARRIEL: I go to transport things.
SHAY: Souls? Other angels? What?
ARRIEL: Both of those and a myriad of other things.
SHAY: Is it hard? Do you need a key to get into hell or something? How long does it take?
ARRIEL: In earthly terms, it’s instantaneous. It’s not hard once you do it a few trillion times, and there is no "key".
SHAY: So, if there's no key, how do you go in?
ARRIEL: God's authority grants us permission.
SHAY: So, God kind of gives you a "pass" into hell.
ARRIEL: Yep.
SHAY: Wow. So is there a "pass" into heaven too?
ARRIEL: Yep.
SHAY: How do you go about getting those passes?
ARRIEL: They're brought to me.
SHAY: By other transporters, I assume?
ARRIEL: Correct.
SHAY: Have you ever had a pass stolen?
ARRIEL: That's impossible.
SHAY: It’s impossible to steal a pass?
ARRIEL: Yes.
SHAY: Why?
ARRIEL: I don't know the answer to that question.
SHAY: Is there an angel that can answer that one for me?
ARRIEL: Maybe.
SHAY: So you don't really know?
ARRIEL: No, I don't.
SHAY: You pretty much just do your job and don't ask any questions, right?
ARRIEL: Basically.
SHAY: Well, is there anything else you wish to add?
ARRIEL: Is the interview over?
SHAY: Yes, unless you have something to add.
ARRIEL: <silence>
